(Nope, that ain't an elephant trunk. )
Kristen has a question about her boyfriend and what he calls his peen.
Hey Jadd. My boyfriend recently decided ton ame his penis "mommy." So he'll sit there and say stuff like "Ohhh I can't wait til my hard momma is inside of you" and "Yeah come on mommy make her explode." It's kinda freaking me out. What should I do?
Answer: Simple. Call your best friend (guy or girl, doesn't matter) to go over to your place. Once they get there, the 2 of you go out to your car and open one of the doors. Once it's open, you get on your knees and put your head halfway inside the car so that your ear is against the edge of it. Then, have your friend shut the door as hard as he/she can on your head. With any luck, it'll either: 1) Knock some sense into you, or 2) Split your head open and give you a concussion. But hopefully, you 3) End up getting brain damage and aren't able to type questions into my blog anymore.
In all seriousness, dump this freak. Not even for the fact that he calls his d*ck "mommy" -- which is disturbing enough by itself. But the fact that he actually came up with a name for his penis on his own makes him a f*cking idiot. I can't even come up with a word that makes him sounds a f*cking brainlessly stupid and idiotarded as he actually is. What dude in his right mind names his own d*ck? The fact that he thought his d*ck actually needed a name makes me wanna take a pitchfork and stab him in the daddyspot with it. If there's ANY time a dude's penis has a name, it should be given by his chick.
P.S. If he thinks it's a turn on for you to hear "Give her an orgasm, Mommy" -- well, I'd congratulate you on taking someone's virginity, but it's clear Momma Bear already took care of that for her baby boy. Run...fast. Seriously...get the f*ck outta there.
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