Midget sex

Charlie has quite possibly the best question ever asked on this blog...ever.

dude, i have an obsession with midgets. and i really wanna, you know, hook up with one... but i'm in a relationship. BUT i'm thinking... since they're small, they can't really count, right? like it'd take atleast 2 to be a complete cheat, ya know?

Answer: First off, I want to shake your hand. Secondly, I'd love to buy you a beer (I don't care how homoerotic that sounds, it's fact). And lastly, I'd love to take this time to plug Rent-A-Midget.com, which provided hours of entertainment for me and my buddies during my college days.

Now onto your awesome, AWESOME question. It's my belief that people have different skill levels in bed based on their appearance. So as far as midget goes, well...I feel like they might think they come up just a tad short (high-five for an obvious pun) in the looks department (since people don't really check them out as much as stare at them in amazement), so they make sure they rock some bedroom skills. That said, as AWESOME as it'd be to tell your buddies that you actually used a chick for a sweet bicep workout while having sex with her at the same time, I don't think it's worth wrecking a relationship.

So, fellow midget-obsessor, I say stick to your midget porn and the viruses your comp gets from looking at it, and remain loyal to your girlfriend. Plus, if you don't cheat and you stay with your girlfriend, you can work on becoming the first person to have a "two-and-a-halfsome."