Fantasy baseball stuff

Josh has a Fantasy Baseball-related question.

Yo man, I have Cliff Lee stashed in my DL spot for my fantasy league, but I just had another one of my starters go on the DL, too. Pickins are slim for a replacement...can you give me a few suggestions?

Answer: Same thing happens to me EVERY single year and I get so heated. Then I thank my lucky stars that it's just my fantasy baseball roster that gets put on the DL because of an injury and not my penis unable to perform because of an STD, but I digress...

Best pickups if they're not taken right now are Shawn Marcum, Colby Lewis, Jaime Garcia, CJ Wilson, and even though he has a name perfect for a porn star...Doug Fister. (I hear Fister is REALLY good with those backdoor pitches....HUZZAH!!)

If none of them are available, well..you're screwed, sir. And since this post wasn't really that funny...yo motha's a whore.