Double cheating

(Remember when that dude got shanked on a boat? Whammy.)

Jennifer has a question about her friends' relationship that is the opposite of healthy.

i'm friends with a couple... but was friends with each separately before their relationship so i have an individual loyalty to both. i know it's on the rocks and they're on their way out (they both cheated, and i think he's waiting till he finds someone before he breaks it off with her)... but she doesn't wanna accept that it's ending. i'm pretty sure she's trying to get pregnant cause she thinks that'll make them stay together. should i tell the guy? cause on one hand she's being devious... but on the other hand he's sticking around for the sex and isn't being extra careful knowing he wants to leave her.

Answer: Ya know, this situation sounds so f*cked up that normally I'd say you should just lay back, break out the extra-buttered popcorn, and enjoy the show. But the chick in this relationship is being a total c*nt-kabob. I'm not saying the dude is an angel, because he clearly reeks of a bag of suck (and probably fat women's vaginas), but his cheating isn't affecting their future (because let's be real, their future is a breakup...he's just adding to it.) But this chick is trying to trap him by getting knocked up so she's like "Oh hey by the way I have your tadpole swimming in my vagina-egg sooooo now we're tied together for life. YAYZ I WINZ!"

I know I'm usually a wiseass, but bringing a kid into this world for the sole purpose of trying to keep a relationship together is just a move that reeks of salty twats. Like I said, normally I'd say just watch the entertainment happen, but this is a whole new level of chick psychoticness -- I'd say tell the dude to stop railing her or to at least wrap his herpes stick. Yeah, you don't wanna get in the middle, but just imagine the f*ckload of drama you're gonna have if that bitch actually DOES get knocked up.

(Not to mention he sounds like a big enough c*ckbag that he'd dropkick her in the stomach just to make her lose the baby.)