Coming out to the family

Sandra has a question about dropping a bomb on her family (not a legit bomb, and not the code word for a huge fart, but a big piece of news kind of bomb. I'm also pretty sure the FBI is gonna show up at my door now since I used the bomb so many times in one sentence. Anyway, onto the question...)

Hey Jadd. I'm a college student and have been into girls for the last few years, but I always covered it up as bi-curious. Well, college has made me realize I'm a full-blown lesbian (the lipstick kind, not the butch kind in case you're wondering). Anyway, my younger sister knows and when we were fighting a couple months ago, she told them that I was dating someone but didn't tell them it was a girl, and now they want to meet her. How should I break the news that it's a girl before they meet?

Answer: Did you seriously have to write me a f*cking book to ask one simple question? Anyway...first off, your sister is a total assh*le. Like, I get being in an argument with someone and being pissed and throwing them under the bus about stuff you normally wouldn't, but your sister is a Grade A C*nt Kabob for doing that to you. But karma's a bitch, so she'll probably get knocked up by some random dude who's gonna bail on her and the kid, so whatever, she'll get hers.

Either way, just straight up be honest with them. Sit them down and be like "Look, I love you Mom and Dad, but I also love the cooch." (Obviously don't use those exact words, but you get what I'm saying.) They're your parents, and unless they're total asshats like your c*ck-mongel of a sister, they'll love you either way. That's not to say they won't choke on their asparagus or spit out their wine, but they SHOULD base their love for you on who you are, not what organ you decide to have sex with.

And hey, if they're total homophobes about it and disown you, then that's your fault for asking me instead of someone who's had to come out of the closet before. But really, if your parents seem happy for you because you've found someone that treats you right and makes you happy, then they should have no problem with it. You know, once they realize that the giggling they heard from behind your bedroom door all those years wasn't you and your lady friend playing My Little Pony.