Frank has a question about his girlfriend replacing him with a battery-powered object.
dear jadd - the other night my girlfriend used her vibrator on herself and she realized that she really doesnt need me. what should i do?
Answer: What should you do? Try chopping your penis off and living your life as a woman, because apparently you sure as hell don't know how to use a schlong. Either that, or hang your head in shame everyday of your life until you die. Because really...I get that chicks love their toys, but uhh...chicks usually ALWAYS want peen too. And if your girlfriend is so put off by whatever sex skills you have (actually, probably easier to say whatever skills you DON'T have), to the point where she'd rather get intimate with a pack of Duracell batteries instead of you -- well, yeah. You're screwed, son.
But in all seriousness, you could tell your girlfriend to not be such a stuck up C U Next Tuesday and actually work with you to improve your skills, since you clearly lost your virginity like..uhh...yesterday? Tell your broad to show you what feels good for her and how to move and stuff, and...well, unless you have the penis of a midget (not including Mini Me...who apparently has a f*cking kickstand), you should be able to at least help her have a believable fake orgasm. Good luck buddy...don't pull a Jim!
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