Best friend crush?

Amy thinks her best friend has a thing for her boyfriend.

Hey Jadd...I'm a little worried about my best friend. I think she has a thing for my boyfriend and I'm nervous that she's gonna try to either break us up or try to get him to cheat on me with her. What should I do?

Answer: Well, as harsh as this might sound, and I'm sorry to say it (actually, let's be real...no I'm not) -- WAKE THE F*CK UP! Your best friend sucks ass, and you should probably seriously consider dumping her herpes-infested ass (before you get infested with herpes via your boyfriend's penial gland.)

Okay, so I get that it sounds like I was making a joke there, and I kinda was, but seriously...if you call someone who is possibly trying to swallow your boyfriend's penis with her toothless piranha your best friend, yo' head is f*cked up. Look, if she's your best friend, you should be able to sit down with her and tell her that you're concerned...or more importantly, you should be able to tell that bitch to back off your Kool-Aid without you guys defriending each other on Facebook.

But the part I AM serious about...is you needing a better best friend. I'm sorry, but never once in my life have I ever wanted my best friend's chick. There's a difference between finding her attractive, and wanting to bump uglies. You should probably give your friend a lesson in that.